1. One of our commencement speakers Na’im Madyun, gave a creative, thoughtful address to the undergraduates. T. Mychael Rambo also performed a musical piece and gave a speech in which he said his father used to tell him, “Everyone is born with a degree in the humanities and accounting. You are accountable for yourself and everyone is a human being, so act like one.” Love this!

2. Each time I go to commencement I am reminded by the 1997 commencement address by Oprah at Wellesley College, when I was teaching and coaching tennis there. She said, “The first time someone shows you their real self, believe them,” I have reflected on and used this advice many times over the years and it holds true every time. It holds true for people who both enrich your life, and for those who are toxic energy vampires. Her address is worth reading.

My awesome graduate students (L to R) Alyssa Norris, MA; ME, Chelsey Thul, Ph.D.; Katie Wurst, MA

3. Seeing the smiling faces of the students as they walked across the stage reminded me why I am in higher education…and everyone needs a reminder like that from time to time.

4. Three of my amazing graduate students walked in commencement, including my very first doctoral student.  Oprah read Maya Angelou’s “Phenomenal Women” poem to the women of Wellesley College, and it is a fitting poem these graduate students and the others I have the privilege of working with on a daily basis. I am very grateful for all the students I get to work with and teach (even when they are questioning me about their final grades!)

Summary: Act like a human being with kindness and empathy, be grateful for the people who make a difference in your life, and make sure to take the time to reflect on why you do what you do.

I’m guessing because they were coming upon Cooke Hall, where he took the class, it spurred him to remember the professor whom he described as “a feminist”…and he wasn’t using that as a term of endearment. In fact he then went onto to say “she was some sort of raging feminist who thought women’s sport should be on TV…and that she should get real because it is a business.” At that point his buddy asked him, “Did she used to play soccer?” Now I was really listening!

He said he’s taken the class as part of his major but this professor was a real crazy b*tch because one day they were talking in class about football, and the professor was arguing that “some women could play football.” To him, as a former high school football player, this was the most ludicrous idea he’d ever heard and because she so out there and was such a crazy feminist, he dropped the class and switched majors!

I was bothered by this for many reasons. First, this guy had no intention of ever seeing another perspective existed, that perhaps there are women who could play football. I wanted to turn around and tell him there are plenty of women who can, and DO, play football (see my previous blog post).

He as never going to entertain another perspective. His perspective was right, and this female professor was crazy. Period. I find these type people and students dangerous, because they then have the possibility to go into the work force and perpetuate current power structures and ideologies (ways of thinking) that marginalize women and dismiss alternative perspectives.And because he was a young, White, fairly good looking former athlete his opinion automatically carries more power.

Second, I didn’t like the venomous way he talked about “feminists.”  I’m not sure he really knew what a feminists really way, but he didn’t like them and in his words thought “they were stupid.” For his information and anyone else that wants/needs to know the definition of a feminist is: any person (not only women) who have an aim of establishing equal rights and legal protection for women, and who believes in the social, political, and economical equality of the sexes.

Third, calling a well known scholar versed in gender and sport “stupid” just because you don’t agree with her/her opinion is stupid. I say it all the time, but as a society we have mostly lost the ability to disagree respectfully and have civic discourse without it quickly devolving into “stupid” comments (see previous blog post). This undermines the fabric of a healthy democracy.

Fourth, I wondered why the friend would ask if the feminist professor “used to play soccer”. Huh? Do some young men think that female athletes are all feminists? Anyone? I’m confused.

I have to go teach, and I’m going to bring up the idea that women can play football….I’ll let you know how that goes!

Why it might be good idea to let her play: the team will mirror the gender composition of the workplace in which she will largely compete against males, helps her develop life skills and “toughness” in competition, her tennis skills will improve, increased recognition which may help with recruiting, helps the boys learn to appreciate athletic talent of girls, has the potential to change outdated gender stereotypes of female athletes as “lesser”, separation of boys and girls in sport is arbitrary anyway so why not let them play together?, challenges the gender binary that all males are better than all female athletes and provides proof that many females CAN outperform or perform with males.

Why it might be a bad idea to let her play: the boys might not want her on team and it will destroy team cohesion, it might reinforce outdated gender stereotypes and ways of thinking about female athletes (the best athletes are male), her experiences will depend greatly on how the coach and the boys’ parents handle her presence on the team, Is it appropriate or should a 12 year old girl be around 17 year old males?; it takes her away from her female peers during a critical developmental window, Is it fair or healthy to ask a teen age boy to play (and possibly lose!) a younger girl…isn’t that emotional abuse?, it might open the floodgate of boys wanting to play on the girls’ team.

There are many facets of this issue to consider, which have been discussed and debated previously. To help us all think through the complexities and know the facts, I would guide the reader to Issues Related to Girls and Boys Competing With and Against Each Other in Sports and Physical Activity Settings: A Women’s Sports Foundation Position. The WSF piece is a nice summary and includes the legality of co-ed sport participation and opportunities to play under Title IX.

Related to the Ingrid Neel case, a colleague (thanks LW!) sent me a story about an Iowa wrestler who defaulted his state tournament match, rather than face a female wrestler (Cassy Herkelman).

One thought I want to share is that I think that most boys can greatly benefit from having to compete against girls. It has the potential (and I say that cautiously) to be a great opportunity for both competitors. Isn’t that the true meaning of competition…to strive together and bring out the best in each other? (NOTE: for a good book on this topic, read True Competition by David Shields & Brenda Light Bredemeier, former colleagues of mine at Notre Dame) However, the opportunity will be lost if the adults in the lives of both competitors mess it up. By that I mean if the coach or parents tease or allow teasing of the boy if he loses, which reinforces that boys should naturally be better than girls. It also tells the boy he isn’t “a real man” if he can’t beat a GIRL and therefore should be ashamed. Comments, teasing, hazing, and bullying directed towards the female competitor should also not be allowed or tolerated.

Some colleagues (Fink & Maxwell, 2010) of mine did a study of male practice players of NCAA D-I women’s basketball teams. These researchers found the men in their study respected and appreciated the female athletes, and perspectives about female athletes and women in general did change. Overall the men described it as a very positive and transformative experience, therefore providing evidence that co-ed  competition can work and lead to positive development and growth.

If it can be done at one one the highest levels of competition, surely co-ed competition can be successfully achieved at the youth and interscholastic level. Let the kids play and hopefully if the adults get it right, it will be a positive and teachable moment for all involved.

I’d love to hear your additional thoughts.

I developed this video along with colleague Pete McCauley as an educational technology project for the College of Education & Human Development at the University of Minnesota. I wanted to provide an accessible format and practical tips which may help anyone interested in becoming a better presenter.

There are also some great books on designing and delivering presentations, presentationzen and presentationzen DESIGN, slide:ology.

Feedback welcome as I hope to do Part II soon.

Dr. Nicole M. LaVoi

I just posted new videos of two research talks I gave in the last week on girls and women in sport.

The first talk was a Tucker Table on “Coaching Youth Soccer as a Token Female” and the other was “Current Research of The Tucker Center for Research on Girls and Women in Sport” for the St. Paul AAUW.

To see some short clips go to The Tucker Center’s YouTube Channel.

Is coaching boys and girls different?

I’m putting together a presentation on “Differences Coaching Boys and Girls: The Facts and the Myths”. Given my position as the Associate Director in The Tucker Center for Research on Girls & Women in Sport, without fail every time I give a coach or parent workshop, this question is raised– “What are the differences in coaching girls?”

I can’t summarize an entire hour presentation here, but I will tell you there are a set of evidence-based coaching behaviors every coach should employ regardless of the gender of the athlete.   Here are a few of those strategies:

Caring enough to know your students and creating a learning climate in the classroom that makes each student feel heard, valued, and known is just good practice.  In a previous blog I outlined “The 3C’s”-care, competence and choice. These are 3 essential human needs, that when met lead to more self-determined forms of motivation and potentially a host of positive outcomes such as improved self-perceptions, enjoyment, health, well-being, intrinsic motivation, and sustained participation and effort….all things we should be striving to attain or facilitate in others.